Monday, December 28, 2015

Reasons to quit WhatsApp

There are hundreds of benefits using An effective communication tool and everybody is wondering how this is made available free to them.

Many are deeply engrossed onto this cute app - morning through midnight.  The day starts with it and the midnight, latenight ends with it.

People try all sorts of "Account > Privacy" settings to show their uniqueness.

WhatApp is very addictive and we the elders, may be teaching something wrong to the  kids to show this as a relationship tool.

I am currently on WhatsApp Fasting. 

I have not quit WhatsApp but trying to stay away from WhatsApp.  Atleast from Xmas through New Year through Sankaraanthi, I dont want to be online and looking at the messages.

There is element of artificial-ness lifestyle set in using WhatsApp.  Our brains are getting tuned to something unnatural.  I can clearly see thats creating some problem in day to day life. 
  • The morning light alerts give a false sense of urgency on the messages that arrived
  • How much time to wait anticipating a favourable response? (Why not pick the phone and talk?)
  • We stopped saying good morning and good night to the folks at home sincerely (but those on Whatsapp get all those well-crafted greetings with emoticons)
  • Reading, workouts, writing, interacting, ...all the times have reduced
If you want to practice MINDFULNESS, stay away from WhatsApp for sometime.

Here are the steps:

1. Decide to quit WhatsApp for 2 full weeks
2. You may fail for the first two days (based on the relationships you have) but start all over
3. Dont worry about how people will share important pictures, and messages.  NOTHING is important in this world
4. Even if you dont greet someone good morning and good night, they will be alive
5. Explain politely to anyone who asks about it - that you are trying to reduce distraction and not to stay away from relationships
6. If you declare this first and then try to go on WhatsApp fasting, people may pull you off
7. Switch off mobile data and wireless options for the two weeks period
8. By doing the step 7, the added bonus is you are not going to check FB as well
9. Now that you have more time, find the useful things you can do in life
10. After two weeks, on a Sunday, you may check the messages - you will naturally tend to skip all the forwards.  You will naturally respond to the one that is very important.
11. Try this every two weeks
12. Stop anything in your life that takes away your power, focus and authenticity!

Saturday, December 26, 2015

The Happiness of Pursuit - the book I ordered

Received the book The Happiness of Pursuit by Chris Guillebeau today. I already have his "100$startup" and recently picked "The art of non-confirmity" from the office library. Very inspiring man he is!

White Fang - Book I ordered

Received the book "The call of the Wild, White Fang, and other stories" by Jack London today.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Happiness is the only goal

Of all the goals I and you pursue, there is one single goal we should be after - Happiness.

In any situation ask yourself:
1. Am I happy now?
(This is for happiness awareness to the self)
2. Irrespective of the response "what can I be happy about now"

After practising repeatedly, the question can be simplified to "what can I be happy about right now?"

I have some beginners luck and it works for me. I am happy blogging now.  Several related thoughts are unfolding.

1. By being aware I can be happy, I am actually happy
2. I figured out what to focus on. Otherwise, mind drifts towards the negative streams of life
3. I figured out that I can create additional and new meanings to the current situation

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Ten minutes willpower

Willpower is a muscle we have been constantly allowing to grow WEAK by not exercising it.
We all have aspirations to be, to do, to have something big, significant but we miserably fail due to lack of willpower.
We all know that everything is in mind yet we donot do what we know. Lack of willpower!
There is a simple cure for this and it takes only ten  minutes. No theory nothing though we will add little more to it later.
Every day do something that is very important yet you don't like it. Get involved in this for ten minutes and stop after minutes. No questions asked.
Do this for a week without break.
It's like eating the bitter gourd for the next few says and you chew it for ten minutes.
What happens when you do something that is important that you don't like?
1. You are creating newpathway in nervous system. You are telling your brain the new change you are preparing to.
2. Ten minutes in 24 hours is nothing. We know people who eat or spend 90 minutes over lunch.
3. At the end of the 7th day, you probably start thinking seriously that this task is important and only you could do it
4. You start building a responsibility layer on your brain and your shoulder.
5. You realize that this you are about to create a new identity for yourself
6. Probably you get a sense of freedom and breathe differently
7. You just proved to yourself that the 70 minutes is what it takes in a week overall to get better at something - to start with.
I am sure you spent less than Ten minutes to read this and I Thank you for that.

Monday, December 21, 2015

How rejection fortifies us

There is real magic in rejection. To experience this magic, one should experience rejection repeatedly.
I have been rejected in several ways:
  • Career: I was denied a job by many companies after my post graduation
  • Money: I was denied money as low as Rs.10/- by some caretakers which hurted and provoked me at young age
  • Relationships:  Some good friendships and relationship turned sour because I did not understand the relationship at all
  • Opportunities: Many opportunities to do something worth, to be someone worth, were all denied
There were times I was literally at the mercy of fate,  literally at the mercy of the other person - I thought so. 

Even biggies like Google have rejected me - not for job offer - but when I applied for Google Ad Sense :) few years back.

Why am I writing this blog now?  Because, my heart says every single minute folks are getting rejected by someone, something on which they have attached value.

please read the above statement again.  People feel hurt when they get rejected by those on whom they attach value.  The lanky boy? A big company? A big opportunity?   All these may not have value by itself, but someone attached value, significance, importance, what not?

While there are 1000 companies in the world, why the narrow heart weeps for the one single biggie?
While there are lakhs and lakhs of girls, why do boys persist on the single individual?
While there are ever growing opportunities, why people end their lives for having lost one?

Because we attached meaning.   There is no other meaning to anything other than the one we choose to give.

How to handle, effectively handle rejection?  Here is a list (I am a list lover), you can add yours:

  1. Change the meaning to the relationship, offer, opportunity
  2. Treat rejection experience as a submarine travel experience.  Yes, there is some turbulence on the ocean, but be inside the submarine to get to the other side - a new land, new people..
  3. In every situation of life you feel less resourceful, ask yourself 'so what'?  You lost it - ask yourself 'so what?',  someone would laugh at you - 'so what?' ,  your image is at damage - 'so what' ?
  4. When we like something, we see only positives. But we never realize that every individual, every organization, every opportunity has a dark side. Its just that you are blind-folded.
  5. Re-equip yourself :  refill yourself with new set of knowledge, new set of muscles, new set of beliefs, new set of work, in order to make you very resourceful
  6. The rejection is an opportunity given to you to be better, to be different, to be more valuable. Don't underestimate it.
  7. If you were rejected by a girl of a boy, don't abuse the person, don't throw acid. Its just that person does not same level of attraction with you.  Otherwise, the other person is actually good. Don't plan to hurt them.
  8. Dwelling deeply in a sad state of mind, actually hurts us.  We make ourselves less resourceful. 
  9. Write your feelings down. Write in such a way, you drain your feelings onto the paper. Write till you conclude 'I love myself so much'.  Then you goto sleep.  You will find yourself very calm.
  10. Grow big, very big to-be-precise, to the level that you will reject somebody. 

This is a partial list.  This world is full of possibilities.  This world is set in motion not because someone was granted, because someone was rejected.  Because, the entire mass is rejected and we all go in search of something to handle rejection.

Above all, you are the only one who is very responsible for your life.  Handle yourself with respect and responsibility. 


Sunday, December 13, 2015

Pumping the irons

Pumping the iron in the weekends really help me de-stress.  I was too thin and feeble during my school and initial days of work.  Gradually gained weight due to lifestyle and workstyle. The little secret that I learned during my workouts are to say something motivational and some power statement.Physiology is the foundation of the strong and stable mind.  One should gain strength through sports, workout and some form of physical exercise. My morning routine includes the kettlebell exercises which keep me feel loaded on my arms and shoulder.  On the days  I dont pump irons, I try burpees and wide pushups which get me lung full breathing.  On the days I am drowsy due to late night sleep, I do a simple meditation in the morning along with Green Tea and sometimes combine the exercises from EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques).  Picture credits (c) Diya Ganesh.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Violations of Mind

 Look at these pictures. They have been clicked in the past 2 weeks or so across locations in Bangalore.  Traffic violation, dumping of garbage, jumping the signal, riding on the footpath, illegal hoardings.  Every day scene it is!

I have reported enough to the civic authorities and they get addressed. But there is no permanent prevention to all these problems - either authorities change or people find new ways of violating it.

Did I say violation?!

To me this seems to be more of a violation of mind rather than of the city rules. 

We pollute our mind every day. We violate our own rules for health everyday.

The result is some form of sickness.  Do we go to the doctor to permanently fix the problem?  No, we go to the doctor to temporarily heal the symptoms.

But about the mind?  Why are we not cleaning our mind everyday?  Why are we not checking our own rules if they are enabling or not enabling? Why are we looking at others always to feed us?

Why do we wakeup late? Just to see, if we are still alive?  Many of us have not seen what 5 am looks like?  Whats the pride in being awake on birthday till 2 am because your dears ones pampered you or wake up on the day at 4 am because you have to catch the flight at 7 am?  And boast around 'I was awake till 2 am' or 'I wokeup at 4 am'.  Were you doing some service for India? Your own fun, right?

Laziness, lethargy, lack of accountability, living with false pride, - all these leading to several violations.

Before you ask to clean your city, please clean your mind.

Friday, December 11, 2015

Workshop for school teachers

I continued to do the workshop for school teachers.  This week, I did the workshop for St.Pauls English School, JP Nagar 3rd Phase.

Teachers are one section of the society, whom we need to equip them with a lot of resources - knowledge, psychology, tools and techniques for handling school and personal life.

I did my bit. I provided them a framework and skills that are required to become a role model teacher.  The teachers received the session well and the management was very supportive of it.

We agreed to take this to next level by identifying key actions by each one of the teachers that will be prioritized by the management and teachers jointly.

Glad to make a small difference to the teaching community.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

தேவை ஒரு சக பயணி

பேருந்தில் ஒன்று உறங்கி விடுகிறார்கள்
அல்லது candyஐ crush செய்கிறார்கள்!

ஒரு குளிர் பயணத்தில்
ஏன் பேச கூட செய்யலாம்!

ஒன்று பேருந்து நிரம்பி வழிகிறது
அல்லது தூங்கி வழிகிறது!

எனக்கு பகிர்ந்து கொள்ள
சக பயணி வேண்டும்.

எல்லோரும் சுக பயணிகளாக

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Countdown to 2016 - Deaddiction

In a way new year is just a logical barrier.  But it helps us to reset and restart few things.
From where I am, I see the new year to be a very long, strong road.  Its empty throughout December. It looks like a manless national highway. 
Generally I start working on new year resolutions 2 months before only so that I know what works and what does not work.
These are the things I did "just like that":
1. Arrest coffee addiction
2. Arrest newspaper addiction
3. Arrest TV watching tendency

What's the significance?
1. Coffee addiction:  This is significant because my teeth were getting yellow.  Just kidding. I started and named it so because I loved Coffee.  Coffee meant a lot of things to me: a great start, a good companion, a celebration of success.  Drinking coffee was a great ritual to me. I wanted to break this, because it became an addiction. I derived a new value for myself that I should never allow anything to bind me.  I instantly declared to my family (who mocked me for having done similar attempts in the past) and am sticking to not-having-coffee.  I replaced coffee with Green Tea. I started becoming obsessed with different flavours of Green Tea. But never an addiction.  At office, I take randomly coffee (yes!), tea and green tea. Because winter is here! But there were days, I don't take any of these.
What did I do next?  I carried this momentum to the next one.
2. Newspaper addiction:  TOI is biggest addiction. I have tried few times to stop getting TOI (I think I would have blogged about it in the past) but I love their format.  Its so addictive, you get glued to the news, even if its not important. It reached a threshold when they give too much importance on the page 1 on a Bangalore adultery-cum-murder story and one more murder story. They were a very detailed coverage that I felt enough is enough.  I applied the stop-coffee-addiction momentum to TOI and replaced it with The Hindu.   Hindu also covers bad news on pg 1, but with their basic format, who cares? Sometimes, I try to recollect what I read as a headline! 
Having got 2 de-addictions, I sometimes felt my limbs were removed (ha..ha). But it helped!
3. TV watching:  This is just a light one.  I don't watch TV generally so much. But that I return home late and start watching the music shows for an hour.  Kids don't get my time and attention. Though its a 30 minute time, I sacrificed it.  Weekends, sometimes I don't even turn off the TV.
De-addiction is almost like de-toxification.  I am feeling free.
Now I know, my mind is templatized for de-addicting anything:
  • Toxic relationships
  • Tech distractions (did you visualize WhatsApp?)
  • Unwanted worries and habits
Weeds are automatic!  They need to be removed first, before you plant anything new. 
I am glad I made good progress and commitment in the last 2 months or so.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Friedrich Nietzsche on Music

Visited Veena Musicals to replace the strings of my Guitar. Like the way the bookstores impress me, I have become a fan of this musical instrument store for its vast collection.

Reminded of Friedrich Nietzsche saying Without music, Life would be a mistake.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Happy Birthday, Jenny!

I take this space to wish happy birthday to Jenny who is very pure at heart. She is someone very dedicated, very cheerful, honest to me, trusts me, trustable.
Very hard to get such relationships and I count myself lucky.
Thank you Jenny and may this birthday bring you all joy, happiness and success in personal and professional life.
You are someone I never thought I will meet along the journey.
But having met, I know its a blessing.
Happy birthday, once again!

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Shibumi School - May become my choice of school

I always believed that our current education system is not suitable for our kids.  Its not about the homework and syllabus. My grouse is how commercial the whole system has become and we are in an endless vicious cycle. 
Thankfully, I met this parent at an ice cream workshop and learnt her kids are going to Shibumi.  I have heard of Valley school in Kanakapura Road. 
I want to make Diya and Dhyan to study in such a school, especially Shibumi. 
I am even willing to experiment no-schooling for Diya.

Readers may want to visit these sites:

These schools are following the teachings of Jiddu Krishnamurti. And when I read his biography (half way through), I was impressed. I had answers for some of my seekings. I will blog about JK separately.

I had good education during school, but somewhere I believe all that I learnt was unnecessary. My childhood is lost in memorizing.  My daughter is going through the same in front of my eyes.
Lots of reforms are required in our education system.  I am glad Shibumi and other schools are effectively doing that.

More on this soon. 

Monday, November 2, 2015

Kabali - Inspiring still

This preview image of Kabali by Rajini Kanth was very inspiring for me.  Sure, this is going to be an action blockbuster like Baasha.  The photography lighting, the makeup, the luxurious sofa, body language of Rajini impressed me so much.  Looking forward for the movie.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

From Weeper to Sweeper

The Sweeper in me has woken up sometime back.
The world has so much goodness but the filth has been ever mounting.
Its time I touch this world, sweep away the dirt in small little way.
Why do people abuse others?
Why do people abuse themselves?
Why the greed for money never seems to decline?
Why are we critical about everything and miss the goodness?
Why do they rape a child?
- Nothing pains me than the news of a child being raped.

Why is the world raging with anger all over?

The little sweeper in me tells me that I should do something do to the society.
May the Gods help.

Corruption - Ah! Another bad word for me.  I will sweep this one day.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Meet the new minimalist!

Your friend has become a minimalist now!

Yes, I have started adopting minimalism as a way of life.  Its a challenging mindset especially when you have kids.

Look around, you will find that there are 1000 things that we possess just as a matter of self-pride but no usefulness. Gadgets, gifts, one-time useful items, and so on.  It was very frustrating to manage them all.

Having determined to 'clean up', I have almost become a military officer insisting that we be a gatekeeper for any new items that enters our house.

Many items from my items are being cleared. Will post an photo album sooner.

Not only things, number of blogs also have come down.

More on this soon!