Monday, December 21, 2015

How rejection fortifies us

There is real magic in rejection. To experience this magic, one should experience rejection repeatedly.
I have been rejected in several ways:
  • Career: I was denied a job by many companies after my post graduation
  • Money: I was denied money as low as Rs.10/- by some caretakers which hurted and provoked me at young age
  • Relationships:  Some good friendships and relationship turned sour because I did not understand the relationship at all
  • Opportunities: Many opportunities to do something worth, to be someone worth, were all denied
There were times I was literally at the mercy of fate,  literally at the mercy of the other person - I thought so. 

Even biggies like Google have rejected me - not for job offer - but when I applied for Google Ad Sense :) few years back.

Why am I writing this blog now?  Because, my heart says every single minute folks are getting rejected by someone, something on which they have attached value.

please read the above statement again.  People feel hurt when they get rejected by those on whom they attach value.  The lanky boy? A big company? A big opportunity?   All these may not have value by itself, but someone attached value, significance, importance, what not?

While there are 1000 companies in the world, why the narrow heart weeps for the one single biggie?
While there are lakhs and lakhs of girls, why do boys persist on the single individual?
While there are ever growing opportunities, why people end their lives for having lost one?

Because we attached meaning.   There is no other meaning to anything other than the one we choose to give.

How to handle, effectively handle rejection?  Here is a list (I am a list lover), you can add yours:

  1. Change the meaning to the relationship, offer, opportunity
  2. Treat rejection experience as a submarine travel experience.  Yes, there is some turbulence on the ocean, but be inside the submarine to get to the other side - a new land, new people..
  3. In every situation of life you feel less resourceful, ask yourself 'so what'?  You lost it - ask yourself 'so what?',  someone would laugh at you - 'so what?' ,  your image is at damage - 'so what' ?
  4. When we like something, we see only positives. But we never realize that every individual, every organization, every opportunity has a dark side. Its just that you are blind-folded.
  5. Re-equip yourself :  refill yourself with new set of knowledge, new set of muscles, new set of beliefs, new set of work, in order to make you very resourceful
  6. The rejection is an opportunity given to you to be better, to be different, to be more valuable. Don't underestimate it.
  7. If you were rejected by a girl of a boy, don't abuse the person, don't throw acid. Its just that person does not same level of attraction with you.  Otherwise, the other person is actually good. Don't plan to hurt them.
  8. Dwelling deeply in a sad state of mind, actually hurts us.  We make ourselves less resourceful. 
  9. Write your feelings down. Write in such a way, you drain your feelings onto the paper. Write till you conclude 'I love myself so much'.  Then you goto sleep.  You will find yourself very calm.
  10. Grow big, very big to-be-precise, to the level that you will reject somebody. 

This is a partial list.  This world is full of possibilities.  This world is set in motion not because someone was granted, because someone was rejected.  Because, the entire mass is rejected and we all go in search of something to handle rejection.

Above all, you are the only one who is very responsible for your life.  Handle yourself with respect and responsibility. 


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