I was amazed at the amount of choices that I have to respond to any event.
I am currently engaged with a social community whose leader and subordinate are 'hot head' people. The subordinate is very old and the Secretary is of my age group. The leader takes (self-) pride in all that he does but does not get enough recognition from the community. He is a combination of his old age, experience leading a group in some factory, religious (not spiritual - yes, there is a difference), and dominating leadership but forward thinking mindset. The subordinate engages and disengages and is an unpredictable personality.
Yesterday, we got into a verbal dispute and thanks to various tools and mechanisms I have, I was under control. They are:
a) The Secret scroll that begins with "I promise myself, that nothing can disturb my peace of mind"
b) The belief that I am an "Inverse Paranoid"
c) A powerful strategy - Never React, But Respond
The leader was screaming but I was calm. After the meeting, I left the place quiet.
The first thing I did was recalled the incident and wrote a long mail, edited and reworded clarifying that the statements / opinions of the leader were not necessarily meaningful. The email was so neat and I was able to express in a very authentic way all that I wanted to explain. I was very happy about that.
The incident did not leave my mind, I was trying to reframe (a NLP Technique) the situation. I had some revelations about it. My mind was wavering on what I need to do next. Here is the list of choices that was revealing itself one after the other throughout the day.
a) Write a letter to subordinate explaining how the Secret Scroll helped me
b) Write a letter to subordinate explaining all that I have accomplished so far and also attach the "Thanks, Bye" letter
c) Attend the next meeting and submit the "Thanks, Bye" letter in presence of everyone
d) Visit the leader's house directly, speak in a friendly manner, and after a chit-chat, give him the "Thanks, Bye" letter
e) The MOST EMPOWERING ONE - Continue to do what I was doing. Because, there are only limited number of people in the community leadership to support the initiative. I will complete my term which ends in next year April.
Another conviction I have is "Be the change, before asking for the change". Being an Inverse Paranoid, I am handling this so-called-negative-situation in a more empowering way. I dont think otherwise will do it in the same way as mine. That way, I am unique. I am really moved by the power of choices I have.